Category Archives: RC Tanks

heyy!!
Ok, so i’ve got this story i’m writing but i’ve never been all that great at introductions and starting the story off, so I was wondering if this sounds ok for it? Please don’t be too mean or rude. Some pointers or something would be great! Also, it’s a little bit dark so thats just a warning!
And yes it is VERY long but just try to get past that lol

Adrenaline. It flowed through me like a rapid, reaching every inch of my aching body. Blood trickled down from my right eyebrow as I jumped back, dodging another hit. I couldn’t take much more of this. One on one, fine. Two on one, maybe. But five on one? I mean really? My odds of getting away were zero to none and I knew that. But I just couldn’t stop fighting. Not for them, not for me. Not for anyone. I don’t care who I’m fighting for, I’ll stay fighting even if it means I stand alone. That’s who I was. Who I am.
A killer blow smashed into the back of my knee, sending me crashing down into the ground. Lose, rocky gravel scratched into the palms of my hands, cutting them deep. Fire flared into my hands and I felt skin rip away. Great. I was on my hands on knees, cringing in pain when I felt a hand grab onto my hair which had fallen out of the ponytail I had it in before. Whoever it was tightened their grip and yanked my hair back, pulling my head with it. The force made me push off my hands so I was just on my knees now. More blood dripped down my face and onto my busted up lip. I needed a plan, but I didn’t have one.
“What do you think? Is she a keeper?” A disgusting voice asked to his four goons. He pulled my head back a bit more and looked down at me, smirking like a vulture. I wanted to get up and kick his teeth in, but I couldn’t. He had a strong grip on my hair, ripping at my scalp. The pain was horrible.
“Yeah!” They cheered, snarls on their faces. They looked like animals that haven’t been fed in a week and I was quickly becoming their meal. “She’s a beauty this one, RC.” RC? What type of a name was that for a grown man? I didn’t have time to think about it as RC, the one with the grip on me, heaved me to my feet and slammed me into a brick wall. We were down a dark alley at the back of an abandoned warehouse so I knew I, and I alone, had to get myself out of this. I groaned from the pain I was in and spat out blood to my right. I didn’t dare spit on RC to my left.
“What’s your name, love?”
“Does it matter?” My voice was poison as it left my bloody lips. Wrong move. A punch to my ribs made me hunch over to the wall while the five of the petty criminals laughed, no, snorted at me.
“Your a** is mine.” RC pushed up against my body, flattening me against the wall and whispering darkly in my ear. “Loosen up. This is gonna hurt.” The sickening feeling in my stomach took over my body as a hand crept down my ribs, past my waist and then stopped on my exposed hip. Apparently wearing trackies that were baggy and a tank top that was above my belly button showing off my piercing, was a bad idea. His hand felt like maggots on my hip making my skin crawl, but I couldn’t pull away. He had me securely against the wall, pinning me there like he owned me. Like he owned my body. And he was about too, as well.

SO??!!
what do you guys think???
please just critisism that will help me!
thanks guys!!
Also, i forgot to add this in.
I was thinking of either having this as a flashback or a nightmare (that actually happened) and then the character waking up and regretting not going to the police sooner or not telling anyone about it. something like that?
or should i just keep it like it is and after the first page, skip a couple days and write about how the character is dealing with it??
what do you think?
Umm, sorry Daija but i have no idea how to use yahoo lol
but my hotmail/msn adress is
BambiiGirlHottie@hotmail.com
so feel free to send me an e-mail or whatever =)
that goes to anyone who likes my story ^ ^