got into a huge fight w/my bf of 4 years on sunday. he called me, tried to break up with me but after an hour of talking and calming down some we stayed together. he said he was sorry and that he loved me. he said he’d call me on monday.
one of the major issues (me being too clingy and nitpicking him alot are the others) was him loaning me 2600.00 over the past 2 years and me not being able to pay him back. he now has no savings and his property taxes on his house are due at the end of this month. I AM working overtime now to help come up with some money to repay him and i’m also selling furniture and other things i don’t need to give him money.
fast forward to yesterday (wednesday). he hadn’t called so I drove to his house. found some of my things (not all of them-about 20 percent of the stuff I have at his house) in the garage. this is not normal b/c the last time he almost broke up with me ALL of my stuff was in the garage and YES he had time yesterday to move it all.
I drove to the rc plane field he goes to on wednesdays and we talked (nicely actually). I was crying and told him I was sorry and wanted to fix things. he said he knew and also knew I didn’t do things on purpose. he agreed to go to our couples counseling session today after initially telling me he wouldn’t go. he walked away saying he would call me today to get directions. he promised me he would go. I was really upset and told him I’d never forgive myself if I lost him and he said “honey I know.” I then told him I loved him and he said “i know” paused for a second and said “i love you too. try to get through work tonite and i’ll call you tomorrow.” and then he walked away. I did tell him that I was working overtime to pay him back and he said to get some money saved up for my cushion first then pay him back. he said he had enough money right now to get by.
i’m really scared he’s going to bail out on this counseling session today!! it’s SO important. I am still going to go even if he doesn’t show b/c I have plenty of issues and fixing me I feel will help strengthen the relationship.
I don’t plan on calling or emailing him if he doesn’t show b/c part of me understands he might still be really mad and frustrated with me.
I know alot of men are thrilled at the thought of counseling so this might be a small factor in why he wouldn’t go. IF he doesn’t show-should I take that as a sign it’s truly over or he’s just mad still and needs space?!! he did not ask me to pick up my things or ask for his house key back when we talked yesterday and I had time to pick up my stuff before work.
and before you answer-YES i know I am WAY too clingy and overbearing. I’m asking the counselor to help me fix this. I WANT to change. i’m ok w/him not being there today-i realize i’ve pushed him too far. I just don’t want to lose him for good….
